STUPIDITY FROM CANADIAN PARKS

As Jody says:

"Gorby" is a somewhat derogatory, somewhat playful term used by Banff "locals" to refer to the tourists. Gorbies are the ones with "BANFF" sweatshirts, baseball caps with bear heads, $20 of fudge in their hands, whining that "things just aren't the same as home" (that's the point of travelling, isn't it?!) while standing aimlessly in the middle of a busy sidewalk wondering whether to buy Aunt Mildred the Canadian flag made in Taiwan or the Mountie t-shirt. My friend Becky and I have also coined a term for insipid tourist brochures: "gorbylit".

Gorbies existed long before Gorbachev. In fact, gorbies have been around forever and I'm surprised the archaelogists haven't unearthed any petrified t-shirts saying "I (heart) Olduvai Gorge". :)

The Buffalo Paddock used to be a bar where we would hang out on rainy days, drinking various liquor-filled beverages.

• "Why is Lake Louise so blue?"
  (and the answer that reportedly got a Chateau Lake Louise employee fired: "Because every year they drain it and paint the bottom.")
• "Where do they put the mountains at night?"
• (referring to the meadows and ski runs on Mount Norquay) "Don't you feel sorry for the guy who has to mow all that grass?"
• (In July) "Where can I rent a snowmobile?" (my co-worker Susan gave him bogus directions to nowhere)
• "Where can I buy a Hudson's Bay blanket?" (Gee, have you tried the Hudson's Bay store?)
• (refering to Japanese tourists) "Why are all the Eskimos in civilian clothing?"
• Conversation in Freya's Currency Exchange:
  Gorby: I would like to convert all my Canadian currency to pounds.
  Clerk: You're going to England?
  Gorby: No, Vancouver.
  Clerk: Vancouver?!
  Gorby: In British Columbia.
  
• Is there anything to do when it rains?
• Why does the water in the hot springs on Sulphur Mountain smell like sulphur?
• Is there a cave at the Cave and Basin?
• Gorby- where's the buffalo paddock?
  Resident- The paddock or the Paddock?
  Gorby- Huh? You know, the buffalo paddock?
  Resident- There are two of them. The buffalo paddock or the Buffalo Paddock.
  Gorby- Huh?
  Resident (relenting)- Do you want to have a drink or see buffalo?
  Gorby- Huh?
  Resident- Oh, for...DO YOU WANT TO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE, OR DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE AROUND IN YOUR HOT STUFFY CAR TRYING TO FIND ELUSIVE LARGE BOVINE CREATURES?
  Gorby (to his/her spouse)- Let's go ask at the information centre. Where's the information centre?
  Resident- AAARRRGGGHH!!!!!